Binary vs. Spectrum Perspective

Last Sunday, my husband's 49ers played in the Super Bowl against the Chiefs. In the lead up to the big game, there were a couple of interactions that I found to be kinda interesting. Queen Sass recently became a bit of a Swiftie so, she was well aware of who the Kansas City tight end was but she also likes new stuff, so, she didn't balk at getting a new SF sweatshirt when I was getting gear for the kids to support their dad's favorite team. When we ran into friends a few days later while she wearing her Niner sweatshirt, their daughter (a huge Swiftie) yelled "nooooooooo! Don't be a traitor, we want the Chiefs to win!" I chuckled at this and pointed out that it's totally possible to like the 49ers while being a Taylor Swift fan, they're not mutually exclusive, but was especially amused as none of these discussions had anything to do with actual football or the skills of the teams playing the game.

It did get me thinking though about how the kids thought of it in very binary terms though and how that could potentially be our fault. Even in pep talking our dogs each morning about being a good boy and not a bad one, we've reduced it down to one of two choices. How much more so have we done that with our kids when the reality is that's not the way that the world works. I can very much have a bad day in the midst of a good life or make good choices in a bad situation. There are certainly situations where something is either on or off, or where there is a clear winner or loser, but how often have I been unnecessarily reductionist?

I've recently come to accept that I struggle with anxiety. There's been a lot of work that has gone into that and I recognize I'm a pretty high functioning anxious person, but I am anxious. I never would've said that out loud before because I didn't like the stigma of having something "bad." But in learning how to navigate life a little more healthily and graciously, it's been helpful for me to try to take the view that we live in a spectrum far more than a binary state. It's usually in my most stressed or tired or frustrated states where I've minimized things to just one or two choices. There's still considerable more to be done in this process but if anything, I'm learning more and more that the lessons that I'm trying to teach our kids are very much lessons I need to learn for myself as well.

"Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts." - John Wooden