Do What I Say But Not What I Do?

I think one of the most frequent lessons I've been learning in the mamahood journey is that the kids pick up on far more than I ever think they would, and it frequently is things they see us model (albeit sometimes that is completely unintentional on our end) far more than things that we tell them to do. And it feels like an interesting dichotomy because we hold ourselves to such different rules than we hold our kids to. Yes, there's an argument that we're adults with more responsibility, greater critical thinking skills and generally more exposure to the world at large and they're just kids, but what if we didn't separate it so much?

One of my girlfriends just got a new job and as she had been going through the process, I was lucky enough to be a sounding board and a reference for her. The new role is a big step up but absolutely something I think she could be really incredible at and I was really excited when she told me she got her offer. As we were discussing her plans, I had asked her if she was going to take a break before starting her new role and how she planned to celebrate, she just kinda stared at me blankly like that was such an unusual idea. And it got me thinking that as we've all become adults and been stuck in the go-go-go of life, sometimes we forget about ourselves as we're crossing things off our to do lists and moving up the ladder. But if it was our kids, would we really do that?

King Cuddles started playing soccer a few months ago and while I was wholly unprepared for what a commitment it would be to be a soccer mom, it was actually kinda fun to watch how he was progressing during the course of the season. For anyone who knows him, his game persona very much matches his personality - super happy-go-lucky (he can frequently be found just dancing on the field), wants to avoid pain (he spent the first few weeks constantly ducking the ball) and more collaborative than competitive (he mentioned more than once that he "hopes that we tie and everyone just has fun"). He was fortunate to have really good coaches and they went much farther into the post-season than any of us had honestly expected and at the end of the season, we celebrated how much better of a passer he had become, how much he learned about the game and even though they didn't win the championship, their growth was incredible and that journey was worth honoring.

He's got a bit of a break now before the start of the next season but we're alreay seeing how the positive reinforcement, reflection and acknowledgement have been fantastic for KC's confidence. It's funny how the encouragement to take a break before reapplying himself and just taking time to recognize his growth seem so natural in the parenthood process but such a struggle to apply that to ourselves personally. And maybe this is one of those times it shouldn't have such a separation between adults and kids. I wonder if we had the same attitude and actions with ourselves how much more fulfilled, capable and refreshed we would feel. In this season of learning what to hold on to and what to let go of, this feels like something very much worth exploring in the new year.